Midsomer Murders: Murder by Magic

Not enjoying the commercial I quickly skipped through that was just them chanting the name Jack Reacher as some sort of psychic attack.

Okay so this episode is about rural British people being godless pagans. Let’s do this.

Stage magic offends God, but probably for different reasons than you’re thinking. I mean, in general. I don’t know why in the show.

Luke? Gideon? Hannah? This is very biblical. BUT YET the pub is called THE GREEN MAN.

That’s symbolism, guys.

15 minutes in, only one death so far. But the night is young! Fortunately the cult activities just started. I have no idea if this is sensitive or not to actual British pagans on account of that Island being very weird.

Second show of the night that I would describe as having an ‘Oedipal hellscape’. That’s fun! Really! Oh god.

“This made you mad, of course”
“Of course it did. But that doesn’t mean I killed them”
– Hymn of the murder show

32 minutes in: SECOND DEATH! SECOND DEATH! And a jogger to discover it. Classic. This is why I don’t jog, there’s just way too many corpses out there to be found. Especially ritualistic killings.

55 minutes in: THIRD BODY THIRD BODY. The Oedipal Hellscape continues.

1:24 minutes in: Oh my god it’s the SAME Oedipal Hellscape.

Murderer type: Not Murder Wizard, but Murder MAGICIAN.

That was delightful.

Maigret: Maigret Sets A Trap

Oh god a serial killer episode. But then again, this is my first Maigret serial killer. I look forward to finding out how the French are all degenerates in this one.

I watch with subtitles on so I wish to share that the opening music was, according to them, ‘swanky’.

Music later on: “moves into nuanced, intriguing music”

Summarized interaction:

Maigret: You seem very upset. Do you want to go the bar?
Lady Cop: Oh no I don’t drink. Gimme a cigarette.

17 minutes in: Oh my god, the killer might be English! I hope his accent is perfect Parisian.

21 minutes in: Nevermind.

29 minutes in: My son couldn’t be a killer, look at this childhood photo *proceeds to show picture of absolutely evil looking child*

31 minutes in: okay it appears today’s French degeneracy is mouth-kissing your son.

41 minutes in: Cigs cigs cigs. I miss smoking and that is the dumbest possible emotion to have. Also an Oedipal hellscape in progress.

45 minutes in: Subtle, intense, orchestral music, say the subtitles.

This was MUCH better than a CSI serial killer episode. Nice. Nice.

CSI: Boston Brakes

Today’s episode of CSI is about gubbermint conspiracies and once again reminds me that as fun as CSI is to watch, it’s absolutely a stupid person’s idea of a clever mystery show.

So everyone is ACTING and they actually uttered the name Millander. Absolutely fucking cursed. Like screaming MacBeth in a theatre after wishing everyone good luck.

So Previously On CSI they’ve gotten so busy layering on the mysteries that the episodes run out of time and they just sort of standing around explaining the mystery summary style, then the episode ended. I thought they were gonna do it again this time but they’re actually using emotions in their voices.

This episode’s killer is a Slightly Inept Murder Wizard.

Oh neat though, John de Lancie is in this. James Callis is too and I’m amazed how one man can always look one second away from body-wracking sobs.

This episode is still stupid.

Father Brown: The Crimson Feather

This show was on thin ice when they pulled ‘actually she was craaaaazy all along and didn’t know it’ with the episode based on the Nutshell Murders lady right before.

Anyway, it goes like this: They set up a mystery and then went ‘oh fuck it, it was a delusional lesbian trope what did it. No actual hints given except a sore hand’

The end!

F- for forgetting how to write a mystery.

Partners in Crime: The Ambassador’s Boots

Summary: The new U. S. Ambassador to Britain confides to the Beresfords that on the voyage there someone substituted another travel bag for his, a bag that only contained his boots.

Self, you may go back to this blog some years hence (if the code rot hasn’t claimed it yet!) and say ‘strange, there was an unusually long period between updates and then all at once one day!’ and this episode is why. There’s a scene where one of Tuppence’s friends is wearing a lovely suit and calling the others ‘chums’ and all that and despite some eugenics issues (sigh) it’s generally a delightful character moment and you were like ‘oh I NEED to get a screencapture of that’ and you never did and then it was a whole month later?

Anyway, that’s what happened. And you liked this episode. Except for the part where you knew it was a fake out at one part but for some reason the acting made it seem like it was Albert’s scheme to get noticed by his bosses, not someone else’s scheme.

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates: Widdershins

In which Hetty learns a very valuable lesson about paying attention to what’s going on.

Otherwise, I was denied someone being burnt in a wickerman. The end mystery turned out to make a lot of sense but as I’ve noticed with this series so far, the end result is rarely any sort of clear ‘punishment’.

Also elder abuse is bad. And Robert’s grief was pretty darn well written/acted which was a nice bit to this episode.

Partners In Crime/Tommy and Tuppence: Finesse The King

Had a devil of a time with this episode in that I suddenly could not figure out what anyone was saying. I had to turn on subtitles, which really helped.

So anyway, a good mystery! And not just because someone got murdered. I mean, theft mysteries are good too…

I like the mysteries where they seek it out themselves just to, well, do something because that’s rather novel and when Tuppence gets to shine because she is delightful. I sadly do not have any pictures to share of her outfits which included a marvelous purple cloche and her dressed up as Sherlock Holmes for a masquerade ball.

I have to admit some cultural references were lost on me, I’m not sure what a man dressed up in newspaper has to do with Alice in Wonderland but I really should read that book sometime and not just rely on the Disney cartoon.

There’s a lovely bit in here where Tuppence is trying to dig for info about women who cheat on their husbands and Tommy is just happily saying Tuppence is his best friend (as for why she can’t cheat on him with his best friend). Watch her, Tommy. She’s creative.

Also genuinely upset by murder and death in this episode, which is a change from how mysteries usually go where it’s all a sort of delighted ‘oh a puzzle!’. That said, it was sad seeing Tuppence so sad and shaken.

Partners in Crime: The Clergyman’s Daughter

The premise of this episode was that it was a ‘house seems to be haunted – Tommy and Tuppence prove it’s not!’ except that at no point did anyone think it was haunted and the victim identified who was actually the source of her problems in her interview with the detectives and they immediately pegged the rest. And then the rest of it was solved with a riddle that they just kind of plowed through.

There WAS an adventure part of the episode I liked, where Tommy and Tuppence nearly get shot to death, but alas, I hope the book this episode was based off of is more mystery-ish than this episode. I’m still planning on reading them, after all!

There was also a deeply clever moment where to deter people spying on her, Tuppence gets the man who just pointed where the macguffin was to start pointing where the sun rises, the sun sets, and some other thing and the spyers are like ‘what the hell is going on’. Anyway, I liked that bit. Good bit.

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates – Fingers

This started out a little unexpectedly with a chopped off finger being sent to someone’s parents. On the other hand, the one preceding this involved an hour long torture of some poor hard of hearing dude so. You know.

I did have a moment of ‘oh great, Italy and a mafia plot’ but there was a TWEEST and an entire scene with that europop stuff pumping in the background and enjoyable graffiti bits and well, overall it was a good episode.

I could have done without Robert comforting a stressed out person with ‘well, keep your pecker up!’

The hair on the victim’s sister was gorgeous:

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates screencap of the character Gianetta showing off her hair
I mean look at Gianetta’s hair. Damn. DAMN.