I wanted to watch this because it had Spiritomb in it.
I genuinely did not expect Spiritomb to be put in prison at the end.
“So when is its redemption arc where they find out it’s misunderstoo–no, okay, it goes to jail. It’s a bad pokemon. It goes to pokehell.”
Secret Wars, Chapter 1: Arrival
Madame Webb brings Spider-Man to meet her master, The Beyonder, who is preparing to put Spider-Man to the ultimate test. He sends Dr. Octopus, Dr. Doom, Smythe, Red Skull, and the Lizard off to destroy a peaceful planet and leaves Spider-Man to save it with his own selective team.
New storyline! Spider-Man in SPACE. I am interested that they went with ‘super assholes’ for Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm’s personality templates (Peter was like ‘I’ll just take the entire fantastic four for my team’), but there you go.
But who amongst us hasn’t needed a brief vacation of cosmic war between good and evil to recover from our wife evaporating in front of us?
It occurs to me that… maybe the Fantastic Four had a cartoon going on at this time? I know Iron Man did. So did Storm.
Good moments with the Lizard with Doc Connors’ mind in this. I like a thoughtful lizard man.
“Your wife is a clone, she’s made of water, she’s evaporating, you have two seconds make it count.”
And other fun ways to fuck with Peter Parker.
3below:
Dogfight Days of Summer
With General Morando’s invasion of Earth imminent, Krel tries to stop the fleet’s advance with unwitting help from the kids of Arcadia.
In which a Flappy Bird knockoff saves an empire. Although I’m starting to wonder if it’s an empire worth saving, between Varvatos’ backstory and the events in Ill Gotten Gains.
Mother’s Day
Mother, the AI controlling the royals’ ship, reflects on keeping the peace between her quarreling family. Morando discovers a secret hidden on Earth.
Hey wait it turns out that those people they keep swearing for aren’t just flavour. Cool cool cool.
Ill Gotten Gains
Colonel Kubritz stages a phony quarantine of Arcadia High School in a ploy to capture the royals — and their advanced weapons technology.
Kubritz has my favourite voice actor in the whole series, and I like most of ’em pretty good.
Ducktales:
The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck!
On a family trip to Scrooge’s ancestral castle, Dewey tries to hide the truth about his mom as his brothers search for family secrets.
“Brace yourselves. We’re going to have a pleasant family dinner.”
I really like the Ducktales reboot. It’s funny. SomewhatEvilScrooge is my jam. I still cannot tell you which nephew is which even though they now have personalities though. My sister gave me a cheat sheet I’m going to make a post-it note of and put on the monitor. It’s ‘the evil one, the neurotic one, the blue one, and webby’ in my head so far.
Stuff about their mom though. It always kind of bugged me in the old series their parents were total no shows and all I knew about them from the comics is they’d been sent to live with Donald after hospitalizing their father.
Of course, Spider-Man finally addressed the issue of his parents and it turned into a Russian/WW2 spy drama, so sometimes that’s a mixed blessing. No wonder no one liked Peter at school.
Silver Surfer:
Learning Curve: Part 2
The Surfer must decide if obtaining all the knowledge in the universe is worth giving up his humanity and freedom.
Spoiler: It’s not. Although does he actually have humanity? Wouldn’t he have Zenn-Laity? He’s a funny little blob, anyway.
Nebula’s voice actress acted the HELL out of her ‘I am a tough lady’ role.
Innervisions
The planet of Harmony has its inhabitants in a dream state, unaware of reality. The Surfer must awake them before their planet is wiped out by Thanos.
So! Two things. For some reason the Korbinites are called ‘Whynnm’ in this episode and because for some reason my subtitles weren’t oh, I spent a bit of time wondering why Silver Surfer kept talking about having to warn the ‘women’ but then walked right past a female of the species.
Anyway, Thanos has his proper role in this cartoon: Sad statue dweeb.
Spider-Man (90s):
Six Forgotten Warriors Chapter 3: Secrets of the Six
The Six Forgotten Warriors are said to have 6 secret keys to unlock a dangerous weapon that could destroy the world.
Peter’s parents are Russian traitors! This is why no one likes you, Peter!
Six Forgotten Warriors Chapter 4: The Six Fight Again
Five of the Forgotten Six reunite and team up with Spider-Man to stop the Kingpin from activating the Dooms Day Weapon. But during the process of activating it, Captain America and Red Skull are returned.
Ugh fine they weren’t traitors. Also I enjoyed how often this cartoon eschewed the traditional origins of characters for Spider-Man.
Six Forgotten Warriors Chapter 5: The Price of Heroism
Red Skull uses the Dooms Day Device to transport power into his son and transforms him into Electro. As Electro begins to absorb more power, he becomes even too powerful for his father to handle.
That said, I question making Electro Red Skull’s bouncing baby boy. In the ~comics, he’s a electric pole worker (we call them something else where I come from, I don’t know the American name) who got struck with lightning to get his powers. Same origin as my grandpa’s powers, but the Americans wonder why we call him Hydro-Man. Especially considering the next episode.
The Return of Hydro-Man: Part 1
While on their honeymoon, Peter and Mary Jane are interrupted by Morrie Bench. Still obsessed with making Mary Jane his other half, Morrie kidnaps her.
Mary Jane gets arrested for fashion crimes. Or stealing a boat. One of those.
Features a frantic drive of a shitty van from Niagara Falls to New York. I have no idea how far that is and google maps is all effed up from the plague so I’m not gonna bother checking the driving time. It’s even funnier if he was afraid the van was going to die out after an hour’s drive.
“Thank god, tall buildings!” is a classic Spider-Man line though.
Rob Paulsen is the voice of Hydro-Man and when I was a little kid, he was absolutely my favourite voice actor ever. So that was nice.
Transformers (G1):
Megatron’s Master Plan: Part 1
The Decepticons convince the humans that the Autobots are the true enemies, with the help of a greedy candidate for mayor, named Sean Burger.
‘I could be mayor of this city or I could join with evil robots to rule the world’ is a pretty believable villain origin story, honestly.
Meanwhile the Transformers are going to be flung into the sun because they were like ‘welp, humans said we gotta go’
And I think Spike’s dead. I haven’t watched the next episode yet.
Gummi Bears:
Water Way to Go/Close Encounters of the Gummi Kind
“Water Way to Go”: Gusto encounters a mermaid named Aquarianne and wants her to pose for him but Sunni, jealous that he won’t paint her, lies that he plans to capture her. When she leaves, Duke Igthorn captures her so her sea-monster pet will follow her and attack Dunwyn. “Close Encounters of the Gummi Kind”: Gusto’s rolling sculpture of Gruffi to lead away ogres instead attracts not only Igthorn and his ogres but a group of humans who want to see the Gummis for a variety of purposes.
It’s Rob Paulsen again! With my favourite character type, ‘somewhat cooler loner character who only shows up intermittently!’. I loved Gusto. I do think Sunni was suffering a little from the only other boy bear being Cubbi. Are they siblings? I don’t know. Who is/are/was Sunni’s parents???
June Foray, with her signature raspy voice, is Grammi Gummi and *also* a small child in this episode which was frankly excellent.
I never quite understood the connection between this cartoon and delicious treats, but I enjoyed it as an adventure cartoon. Since it was usually split into two parts, even though I would miss half of it running home from school, I usually at least got to see the second episode.
If you look up ‘GI Joe’ on IMDB, you will not find the 1986 series. It is, for some arcane reason, located under ‘Action Force’. Anyway, solved that. So this also came to TubiTV and I watched it, as is my wont, only to discover that I was in the wrong order and had to go to the earlier 1983 miniseries to find out who everyone was. Anyway, here’s what I saw:
The Pyramid of Darkness: Part 1 – The Further Adventures of G.I. Joe
Zartan and Cobra seize the Delta Space Station and destroy G.I. Joe headquarters. Shipwreck and Snake Eyes are lost behind enemy lines while Cobra Commander reveals his plan to deprive the world of electricity.
Spent this quietly confused and wondering exactly how one plot point led to the next. Did enjoy how it took a failed voiceprint match to reveal that the two men wearing COBRA costumes over their regular costumes and two animal friends were not, in fact, COBRA. This is also when I realized I had the wrong series and went back to find the other so I can’t tell you what happens in the next part yet.
The Cobra Strikes
Destro builds the Mass Device, which is capable of teleporting objects and people from one location to another. In order to send its beam anywhere in the world, Cobra steals a powerful relay satellite, and captures Duke during the attack.
These Joes seem like nice boys (and girls). This Duke guy wasn’t in the other episode I saw, hope he’s okay.
Slaves of the Cobra Master
As Duke tries to escape from Cobra Temple, GI Joe constructs its own Mass Device. The two sides race for three rare elements that power the device, with Scarlett leading the Joes to an arctic mine in order to acquire radioactive crystals.
I can’t help thinking that if a teammate has been established to not speak (Snake Eyes) it’s just going to lead to frustration on both parts if you keep yelling at him to confirm he hears you on the walky talky. Or maybe it’s YOUR fault he chose death, Scarlett. You made it a hostile workplace.
Also ended up identifying a character as ‘Tripwire’ by recognizing his voice actor, looking up who that voice actor played, then playing ‘who was that most likely to be based on ‘their deal’ and their nickname’.
Speaking as having grown up on My Little Pony (1980s), you would not believe how little difference there was between it, GI Joe, and Transformers.
OH BOY. Okay so during March oneself discovered that a bunch of Hasbro cartoons had come to TubiTV, including the stuff that had always been too expensive to get on DVD (Transformers, GI Joe) and a bingewatch (or as much as one can) began.
So here’s a bunch of them, quick reactions!
A Plague of Insecticons
The Autobots and Decepticons investigate reports of a new group of Giant Robots in the form of Insects.
The powers of the Insecticons are many, varied, and poorly explained. I do wonder at the moral of the episode ‘they may be enemies now, but their programming as Decepticons means that won’t last for long’ or something to that effect which probably meant something other than ‘the power of friendship always wins for Decepticons’ but I refuse to hear any other explanation.
Autobot Spike
After a vicious battle with the Decepticons, Spike is seriously injured. The Autobots use Sparkplug’s new invention, Autobot X, as a body for Spikes mind until his human body can recover. But the side effects could be disastrous.
In the IDW comics I read like, one on earth (that wasn’t the Thundercracker’s Santa script issue) and for some reason Spike was killing Transformers? And I was like ‘that’s weird’ and then I saw this episode and was like ‘oh he should have killed more’
The Immobilizer
Wheeljack’s new invention, the immobilizer, freezes anything that it’s pointed at. Now Megatron wants it for his own.
Hey, Wheeljack’s invention worked! On him.
Dinobot Island: Part 1
The Dinobots are destroying the Autobot base because there is no room for them to train. Bumblebee and Powerglide find a mysterious prehistoric island and believe it will be the perfect home for the Dinobots.
“Amazing! Dinosaurs! Let’s let the Dinobots just wreck ass on this island”
Also a LOT of Autobots we’ve never seen before get introduced in this episode and in the second one too. They are introduced via the classic ‘this is my name, this is my deal, even though we’ve known eachother before this, presumably’ but none more awkward than Perceptor’s and possibly Blaster’s. I’m not sure if Blaster is just like that.
Dinobot Island: Part 2
When the Decepticons begin to steal the energy from Dinobot Island, time warps begin to appear all over the world releasing more prehistoric civilizations into modern times.
All dinosaurs speak a common tongue of comradery which is how Grimlock got them to charge as one. It’s just science. It’s clearly explained in Land Before Time.
Traitor
The Decepticons steal the Electro Cells from the research center and plan to use them to create energon cubes. When Mirage tries to stop them on his own, Cliffjumper begins to think that Mirage is a Decepticon spy.
Summary:
Cliffjumper: This episode is called traitor and I choose Mirage. I’LL KILL YOU, MIRAGE, I’LL KILL YOU
Mirage: Wh-what?
Optimus Prime: Now now, we can’t kill Mirage without PROOF
Mirage: WHAT IS GOING ON
Later: Cliffjumper attempts to shoot Mirage in the head because he saw Mirage walking somewhere. Cliffjumper claims they’re friends at the end of the episode but I think Mirage should probably keep his door locked at night.
Enter the Nightbird
Dr. Fujiyama has created a ninja robot called Nightbird. When the Decepticons steal her, the Autobots must try to rescue Nightbird without harming her.
I was pretty excited to see this episode because there’s a lot of old gee wun fanfic where this is Megatron’s love interest (who uh, conversely is often killed off quickly as part Starscream proving… he’s better?) and I was always like ‘who is she? What is her deal?’
And her deal is she is a ninja robot who has no actual mind and goes into cold stage at the end of the episode, the end. Fandom can be weird when it wants a woman character to add to a group or, in some cases, be null rayed to death for some damn reason.
Changing Gears
The Decepticons set up a trap for the Autobots and kidnap Gears. Now, with Gears as his slave, Megatron creates a solar needle in order to steal the sun’s energy. But the consequences could be disastrous.
“What did you do to Gears, you monster!? You turned him nice!”
Alternately: I find out who Gears is.
A Prime Problem
Megatron creates an Optimus Prime clone to lure the Autobots into a crevasse of Korlonium Crystals set to explode on contact.
The stupidness of the tests that they came up with to prove who the real Optimus was (trick shooting, racing) is soothed by the fact that even in universe they were completely useless tests. Optimus probably needed a drink after this episode.
Atlantis, Arise!
The Decepticons discover an underwater city in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and make friends with it’s people. Now they’re out to destroy the surface world.
I would have spent more time wondering about there being another species + civilization on Earth if I was a human during this episode, but their city got blown up anyway.
Attack of the Autobots
While distracting the Autobots with a surprise attack, Megatron secretly sets a trap inside their base that will force the Autobots to do his bidding.
I’m just going to admit it now: I have no idea who most of these robots are.
Microbots
Megatron recovers the Heart of Cybertron from an ancient spaceship and uses its power on the Autobots. Perceptor suggests using his shrink ray to enter Megatron’s body and steal the Heart.
Megatron just flying off in disgust without even dignifying Optimus with a response after realizing Autobots had been running around in his body was relatable.
Perceptor: *trying to fix a microchip*
Brawn: YOU COWARD! HIDING BEHIND YOUR MACHINES!
Perceptor: kind of busy!
Brawn: WEAK! MACHINE WEAKLING!
Perceptor: this is delicate work!
Brawn: I’LL KICK YOUR ASS! I’LL KICK ANYONE’S ASS
Ironhide: *lying there wondering if he’s going to get his chip fixed*
The Master Builders
Grapple has dreamed of building a solar tower to collect energy from the sun. To achieve this dream, he rashly allies himself with the Constructicons.
Grapple and Hoist are hilarious.
The Insecticon Syndrome
The Insecticons return and attack the nova power plant in order to get enough energy to seize the defense computer at Iron Mountain.
More weird insecticon powers. Triple crosses. Confused Autobots. Spike was there…? It’s all a blur.
Day of the Machines
Megatron reprograms the human built supercomputer TORQ III with his own personality and has it controlling machines of all types by using Remote Control Circuit Linker cards.
Scientist 1: Surely it’s a bad idea to create a computer capable of murdering us all
Scientist 2: Haha that is the only way humanity will evolve, through murderous machines.
Scientist 1: I am not sure about this
Scientist 2: Stop worrying your pretty head. You’ll feel better in the mornin–
Scientist 1: What’s wrong???
Scientist 2: In a twist, the machine is murdering us. Ah well!
17a: “Portal Jacked!”
17b: “Warren & Hypno, Sitting in a Tree”
It’s nice to watch a show again! It’s been a while.
“As the Turtles try to find pieces of a strange metal Baron Draxum is looking for, Splinter intents(sic) to get to the bottom of these odd activities at April’s new job at the Foot Shack. He soon learns that the Foot plan to resurrect their ancient master the Shredder by reassembling the Kuroi Yoroi armor. As the parties clash, the secrets of Splinter’s past finally come to light.”
Thanks, Wikipedia.
So! This is many things: A plot episode, an April episode, a Splinter episode, and a ‘randomly terrible things happen to Donnie’ episode. All of which please me. I was sad the Foot Recruit was not in this episode, as that would have been the perfect cherry.
There was a great bit at the start with two punks and a rhino and a warthog and the Turtles going that if they (the punks) were mutated they would be unstoppable! and I chuckled knowingly and said ‘I got that reference’. It also makes me miss my two cats that were named Bebop and Rocksteady. Bebop could really take a petting like a champ.
I enjoyed the Splinter backstory and him being more fatherly. And for some reason Mikey going ‘You cute little guy!’ as he raced into attack was the best.
Future self, you enjoyed this episode when you have inevitably forgotten everything and look back at this.
15a: Mind Meld
A classic plot of ‘smart character makes other characters smart, regrets it and changes them back’ which was very by the numbers except the brothers weren’t actually doing anything except ignoring Donatello that required them to be turned back and the macguffin was that they were rescuing stolen equipment from the Purple Dragons to… keep for themselves. Ah, the fucking around levels are off the chart in this series. I appreciated these aspects of the episode, but otherwise I think I was more focused on the apple I was eating. Which is a shame because you’d think I’d be more excited about a Donatello episode. I DID like how he kept complimenting everything they were doing instead of them being destructive forces while he was freaking out.
15b: Nothing But Truffle
Todd is confirmed as capybara. Mikey episode. Meat Sweats episode. …were-tree episode?
“You ditched me? I thought you were kidnapped!”
Todd gave me the creeps previously but he was really funny in this episode. And I’m really enjoying a TMNT where I don’t keep going ‘ugh’ at Mikey’s very existence*.
*I don’t like wacky/zany characters. I used to like them well enough, but Pinkie Pie was so awful she retroactively poisoned me on the character type. I can’t even look at Wakko Warner now. And I think I’d use a shoe on the other Pinky.
So before I started watching this (the other actually, all of today’s posts are a bit behind) I went to look up what the majority of the fic for the fandom was on Ao3 because I was curious and I will break it down for you:
30% Reader fic
30% ‘People who ship the turtles do not interact with this/TCEST DNI’ mixed with actual physical threats*
30% Leonardo/Donatello
10% ‘Oh hey this is about April, neat!’
Okay, onto the episodes:
14a Late Fee:
They seem to be moving from Shredder being the worst parent except for the fact that just him offering a hug made those turtles move heaven and earth to accomplish their goal. A lot of the humour comes from also knowing how dvd rental actually works, re: their final goal. The wizard was weird.
14b Bullhop:
CANADA CANADA CANADA CANADA.
The rest was fine. Mikey is a gem.
“Good news, guys! I totally punted!” – Leo
*Please stop being weird, fandom. It’s just fic. Don’t threaten people.